Children's behaviour Archives

Cultivating Effective Communication Skills in Children: Tips and Strategies

August 21, 2023By illac_admin

Strong communication skills are essential for a child’s academic, social, and emotional development. Being able to express oneself effectively and confidently is not only crucial for building meaningful relationships, but also for excelling throughout their education and future careers. As a parent, you play a significant role in fostering your child’s communication skills from a young age and ensuring they are well-prepared for the numerous opportunities and challenges life may present.

In this blog article, we will discuss the importance of effective communication skills in a child’s development and share engaging activities you can incorporate at home to nurture these abilities. Additionally, we will provide strategies for fostering open and supportive parent-child communication and showcase how I Love Learning’s English courses can help your child develop strong communication skills.

At I Love Learning, our mission is to provide children aged 2-16 in Singapore with a fun and stress-free learning environment in which they can discover the joy of learning. Our comprehensive courses in English, maths, science, and reading are designed to support your child’s academic journey and cultivate essential skills for their future success. Join us as we uncover the secrets to effective communication and guide your child on the path to becoming a skilled and confident communicator.

1. The Importance of Effective Communication Skills in a Child’s Development

Developing effective communication skills is crucial for children, as it directly affects various aspects of their growth, including academic performance, social relationships, and emotional well-being. Here are some key reasons why strong communication skills are essential for a child’s development:

a. Academic Achievement: Communication skills are integral to learning, comprehension, and the expression of ideas. Proficiency in reading, writing, listening, and speaking enables children to engage with their education and peers effectively, boosting success in the classroom.

b. Social Interactions: Being able to communicate confidently and empathetically helps children build strong relationships, fostering a sense of belonging and self-esteem. It also improves their ability to navigate various social settings and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner.

c. Emotional Intelligence: Effective communication skills contribute to a child’s emotional intelligence, as they learn to recognise, express and manage their emotions while understanding the emotions of others.

2. Engaging Activities for Nurturing Communication Skills at Home

There are numerous activities parents can incorporate at home to help improve their child’s communication skills. Here are some engaging and fun suggestions:

a. Storytelling: Encourage your child to create and share stories orally or in written form. This not only nurtures their imagination but also develops their language skills and self-expression.

b. Role-Playing: Engage in role-playing activities with your child by pretending to be different characters or exploring different situations. This exercise helps improve their verbal and non-verbal communication skills and enhances their understanding of social cues and body language.

c. Group Discussions: Involve your child in family discussions, debates or conversation topics, allowing them to practice sharing their opinions, listening, and responding to the views of others.

d. Educational Games: Utilise board games, puzzles, and word games that focus on communication and literacy development. These interactive games make learning fun and stimulate your child’s language skills.

3. Strategies for Effective Parent-Child Communication

Creating open and supportive communication channels between parents and children is crucial for fostering strong communication skills. Here are some strategies for improving parent-child communication:

a. Active Listening: Demonstrate active listening by fully focusing on your child when they are speaking, making eye contact, nodding in agreement, and summarising their thoughts to confirm understanding.

b. Encourage Expression: Encourage your child to express their thoughts, feelings, and opinions openly, showing validation and interest in what they have to say.

c. Be Mindful of Body Language: Model healthy body language by maintaining eye contact, leaning forward during conversations, and using natural facial expressions to demonstrate attentiveness and empathy.

d. Offer Constructive Feedback: Provide constructive feedback to your child on their communication abilities, highlighting their strengths and offering guidance on areas that may need improvement.

4. Developing Strong Communication Skills with I Love Learning’s English Courses

I Love Learning offers a range of comprehensive English courses designed to support the development of essential communication skills in children aged 2-16. Our experienced tutors create engaging and interactive lessons that cater to your child’s unique needs and foster a love for the English language. Here’s how our English courses can contribute to your child’s communication skills development:

a. Comprehensive Curriculum: Our English courses cover all aspects of communication, including listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Aligned with the Singaporean education system, our curriculum is designed to promote academic excellence and prepare students for success.

b. Small Class Sizes: We maintain small class sizes to ensure individual attention for each child, allowing our tutors to provide personalised feedback and support, guiding them in honing their communication skills.

c. Engaging Learning Environment: We are committed to creating a fun and stress-free learning atmosphere that encourages students to actively participate in lessons, develop confidence in their communication abilities, and foster a love for learning.

Conclusion:

Cultivating effective communication skills in your child is a crucial responsibility that not only impacts their academic success but also their overall personal development. By implementing these practical tips for nurturing communication skills at home, promoting open and supportive parent-child communication, and utilising the expert guidance provided by I Love Learning’s English courses, your child will be well-equipped to navigate the world as a skilled and confident communicator.

Experience the best in education with ILLAC’s enrichment classes in Singapore! Let your child flourish with our comprehensive courses in English, math, science, and reading. Enroll now and give your child the gift of learning!

Lessons from the longest study on human development

July 13, 2021By illac_admin

Parenting has never been easy and we all wish there is a manual that guides us on this tedious and ever-so-challenging journey. As a matter of fact, plenty of such guides are out there but they tend to espouse different principles and guidelines and they can be very overwhelming. No fret. Here’s the ultimate parenting summary from the findings of studying 70,000 children across five generations. Ready? Get your notebook out!

1. Be responsive and interested parents.

Studies have shown that small things that parents do, like talking and listening to a child, responding to them warmly, teaching them their letters and numbers, taking them on trips and visits, are associated with good outcomes for children. In one study, children whose parents were reading to them daily when they were five and then showing an interest in their education at the age of 10, were significantly less likely to be in poverty at the age of 30 than those whose parents weren’t doing those things.

2. Send your kids to bed at regular times.

Studies have shown that those children who were going to bed at different times were more likely to have behavioural problems. In fact, sleep has been found by researchers to affect executive functioning and children with a lack of sleep or irregular sleeping habits tend to suffer from lower inhibitory and impulse control. One more bad news, one study showed that catch-up sleep on a weekend has no particular benefits to executive functions; it might even have an adverse effect on self-regulation in children. Therefore, send your kids to bed at regular timings and do not rely on catch-up sleep on the weekends!

3. Leave it to your child to choose what to read.

Scientists found that children who were reading for pleasure, be it a magazine, a picture book, or a story book, were more likely to perform better in school in all subjects and not just English. So do not stop your child from reading Geronimo Stilton or Whimpy Kid thinking they are useless or too simple! Whatever they read doesn’t matter, what’s more important is that they read.

In summary, the ultimate guide to parenting: Give them your attention for at least 30min a day, send them to bed at regular timings, allow them to go everywhere with a book (instead of an electronic device!), whatever the title. Congratulations, you are on your way to becoming a GREATER PARENT.

How to maximise your child’s online learning

July 7, 2021By illac_admin

Advancements in technology coupled with the pandemic has led to an exponential shift towards online learning. We are increasingly seeing children having Zoom lessons with their teachers and even co-curricular activities being carried out on screen. With more time spent looking at their devices, it is inevitable that children may end up being distracted rather than being focused on their studies.

For you to maximise your child’s online learning, here are tips you can utilise!

1.Set online rules with your child.

Have a talk with your child before online lessons to come up with some rules they can adhere to during their screen time. Have them write it down on paper and even decorate it to leave a positive impression. Afterwards, paste it up somewhere visible. Some rules can include – “Give your teacher your fullest attention”, “Answer questions”, “Listen to teacher’s instructions” etc. Reward your child with praises and even little stickers when they follow the rules they have created! These rules help sharpen their self-regulation and inhibitory control as well!

2. During lessons, be close by.

Being in the vicinity of your child during their online lessons can help you monitor their progress. You do not necessarily have to be constantly supervising them, frequent check-ins on how they are doing should suffice. During the check-ins, observe if they are paying attention and aptly engage them on what they have learnt by asking them questions related to their lesson. Your looming presence will also encourage your child to stay focused.

3. Ask your child questions after the lesson.

Building on the second point, you can also have your child tell you about what they had learnt during their lesson. Add onto it as well with your own knowledge whenever possible to encourage mental flexibility! Displaying a positive interest in your child’s learning will motivate them to wow you every session, guaranteeing heightened attention during their learning.

4. Check if they have additional work on-line or off-line.

After a lesson, your child’s teacher/instructor may give them work to do. Check if they have any and if they do, encourage your child to finish up their work diligently within a given duration (memory of fresh knowledge tend to slip out of mind without practice after the 3rd day). This trains your child to stick to a fixed routine and develop the beneficial habit of completing their work first before partaking in other recreational activities. This can help your child better retain the information during their lesson as they can apply it immediately to their work while the memory is still fresh (within 3 days!).

It can be tough having to juggle between your child’s learning and other pressing commitments. Knowing that you have done the absolute best for both you and your child is the way to go! Moderation is key, pace yourself and your child to avoid burning out while learning or working from home and stop to refresh and energise when needed.

Is it too late for your grown child?

July 1, 2021By illac_admin

No! Of course not! Don’t give up on your child until he’s 25 at least! The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so.

In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the rational part of the brain. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part. This is why your child seems to make decisions out of impulse instead of logical thinking.

This also means it’s OK that they may not seem to be performing to their fullest potential during school or work. They are still developing in terms of their ability to make better decisions in life. By acquiring better decision-making skills over the years, your troubled teen can still do very well in their adulthood!

As parents, you will, of course, not want to let nature slowly take its course if you know that you can help train your child’s inhibitory control to encourage rational thinking. Besides sending them to executive functions courses like the ones we offer at ILLAC, your child’s executive functions can be enhanced by:

1.Having a good role model in life, YOU.

You’re the most important role model your child has. Sure, their friends are important to them, but the way you behave and fulfill your responsibilities will have a profound and long-lasting effect on your children. Being their immediate environment, your decisions (be it good or bad) will leave an impression on your child and expose them to the varying consequences.

2. Discussing the consequences of their actions.

Mother and daughter having a serious talk

Rather than reprimanding them for the bad decisions they’ve made, help your child link impulsive thinking with facts. This helps the brain make connections and wires it for greater efficiency in making good decisions. The more you discuss and reflect with them, the better they become.

3. Remind your teens that they are resilient and competent.

Not just some motivational rah-rah, but continuous reinforcement that they CAN DO IT! Because they’re so focused in the moment, teens might have trouble seeing that they can play a part in changing bad situations. It can help to remind them of times in the past that they thought would have devastating outcomes but turned out for the best.

4. Respect their preferences.

Respect comes with understanding and the more you understand what your teen likes, the easier it is for you to respect their preferences. Being familiar with things that are important to your teen doesn’t mean you have to like hip-hop music or BTS, but showing an interest in the things they’re involved in shows them they’re important to you and teaches them to make decisions by taking into consideration other people’s feelings.

5. Ask, before responding.

Sometimes, we just wanna rant and are not interested in advice. Our kids too. So, before you go into the nagging mode or “she-needs-my-advice mode”, please ask if they want you to respond or if they just want you to listen. Respect their preferences and stick to it! Don’t switch modes because you couldn’t resist not giving advice! Parents tend to jump in with advice to try to fix their children’s problems or place blame. But this can make teens less likely to be open with their parents in the future. You want to make it emotionally safe and easy for them to come to you so you can be part of their lives.

6. Encourage good sleeping habits.

With the rampant use of devices, it is very difficult to enforce this. However tough it may be, remember that it is all worth the trouble. Teen brains need more sleep than adults and a brain that doesn’t receive enough sleep is a poor-functioning brain. Impulse control, self-regulation, memory, and mental flexibility are all affected when the brain is deprived of sleep. Try all ways and means to drive them to bed at regular timings!

Attractive Hispanic Mother and Son Studying

In summary, is it too late for your grown child? Of Course not! Never say never! They are never too old to change for the better as long as they are still under 25!

Home Practices to Improve Working Memory of Children Ages 3 to 6

April 28, 2021By illac_admin

With society’s increasingly high standards in education and academics, it is without saying that we are in a relentless rat race to provide the best education for our children. Whilst having enrichment lessons may suffice, why not go the extra mile to practice at home by honing your child’s executive functions.

Executive Functions are mental skills which include Working Memory, Mental Flexibility and Inhibitory Control; which the lack thereof can have detrimental impact on our daily lives and potentially, academic performance. Executive functioning skills develop exponentially in early childhood and into adolescence, therefore it is paramount to prime our young ones early.

To start off, let’s focus on Working Memory, where the brain is engaged to hold multiple information at the same time while simultaneously processing it (Miller, 1960). An active stimulation of working memory helps reduce irrelevant information that interferes with the task at hand (Brogaard, 2020) which will be extremely helpful when your child enters Primary School.

Here are some simple home practices you and your child can do to improve Working Memory:

Games

Memory games such as Spot the Differences can be fun and interactive ways for your child to improve their working memory. Show your child 2 similar looking images side by side and have them describe the differences they saw. Amp up the difficulty level by showing them just one picture for a few seconds, reintroduce both pictures and then have them describe the one they saw.

Why not get creative as well with different items in the house, by removing or swapping items around, ask your child if they see anything out of place.

Another game would be Card Matching! Use any deck of cards you have on hand such as Uno or Old Maid that has pairs of identical cards. Flip them around and have a mini competition with your child to see who can match up all the cards first! For an even greater challenge, have them place the cards back at their original positions after the game ends.

Apply Memorisation Tactics

Such tactics can come in the form of active reading, visualisation, and making connections.

When reading, encourage your child to read out loud and ask questions related to the material to prolong the retention of information.
Prompt your child to create images of what they have read or seen in their head so that they have a mental picture which they can refer to.
Help your child make fun connections to better remember information. This can be done through the use of Mnemonics (e.g., Abbreviating the Colours of the Rainbow into a made-up name Roy. G. Biv) or associating a tune to the spelling of a complex word.

Chores

Yes, you heard me right. Chores are fantastic ways to improve working memory. Do keep in mind that working memory is not just about cognitively solving arithmetical problems, it is also evident in whether one is able to bake a cake without forgetting the steps.

Have your child build up the good habit of writing down what they can do to help at home and guide them in organising this information into smaller pieces. Simpler exercises can include giving them instructions on which of their toys go into the box first and have them pack it in the correct arrangement. You can also have them assist you with preparing meals by reciting the quantity of ingredients without constantly referring to the recipe.

Simple multi-sensory methods like these go a long way and you are also building up a sense of responsibility in them!

At the end of the day, do observe your child and understand what appeals to them and keeps them willing to do more. Every child has their own pace when learning thus as adults, we should provide them with the adequate tools to do so. The list of at-home practices is inexhaustive, like and follow us for many more such recommendations for you.

How to kickstart the love for learning from a young age?

August 28, 2019By illac_admin

You must have heard of the old adage, “If you love your job, you wouldn’t have to work a day in your life” and it applies to children too! The love for learning can make them love every single activity, every single subject, and every single learning opportunity. Imagine your child being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about learning, would you ever need to worry about their academic performance?

What are needed to kickstart the love for learning?

1) Strengthen their working memory

Working memory is used to hold multiple information at the same time. For example, I gave you 3 apples, you ate 1 and bought another 4, how many apples do you have? Your working memory is actively engaged in order to hold and process the information given.

Children who have good working memory are able to handle complicated tasks like “picking up their shoes, putting it onto the shoe rack, before queuing up to enter the classroom” all as per instructed by the teacher. These may sound easy but children with weak working memory might “line up immediately without picking up the shoes”, or, “pick up the shoe and queue up without going to the shoe rack”.

Children with good working memory therefore excel in the classroom and are more motivated for new challenges ahead.

2) Enhance their Mental Flexibility

With so many things to learn and so many stimulants to handle everyday, it is stressful and taxing to the little brain. Enhancing on the mental flexibility of the child can help them learn to handle different situations using different “gears”, therefore, maneuvring safely and confidently around “obstacles”.

A child with poor mental flexibility might find it really hard to share, because he is used to playing with a toy his way. When another child comes along wanting to play together, he gets all uncomfortable, not able to process the new situation nor come out with a new playing method, thus cries out loud.

Mental Flexibility helps a child adapt to new situations and pick up new knowledge readily.

3) Heighten the Inhibitory Control

“Naughty”, “Hyper”, “Not focused”…

If these phrases sound familiar to you, no worries, they are used extensively on most children. It’s not their fault, children are meant to explore, play and be active. All that they need to learn are rules and boundaries. As soon as they are able to self-regulate their behaviour and manage their emotions according to the rules, they will be able to enjoy school and look forward to a great learning journey every day.

A heightened inhibitory control will allow your child to focus in class, capture teacher’s instructions and learn effectively. Imagine the praises they will get because of that.

Want to know more about how to improve your child’s working memory, mental flexibility and inhibitory control? Join us at our parenting workshop!

Date: 12 Oct 2019, Saturday
Time: 3 to 5pm
Venue: Westgate, #04-09 (beside Jurong East MRT station)

The Importance of Hugs After Punishments

February 17, 2017By Clarice Lim

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Hugs are forms of affirmation and affection for the child to feel loved. In the Asian context, the words “I love you” might not come out easily therefore making “hugs” even more important as an alternative to show affection especially after a harsh punishment.

No parents enjoy punishing their children, but when the need arises, it is vital it is executed swiftly and with perfect orchestration.

Firstly, it must be pre-warned that a punishment is coming, but when the warning didn’t work, the punishment must be meted out. Once punishment is meted out, the child must always apologise for the misbehaviour and parents MUST hug them to let them know that they are punished because

They are loved and are forgiven
Mummy and Daddy want the best for him/her
Mummy and Daddy still love him/her no matter what

When hugs do not follow a harsh punishment, children will be left thinking

I’m naughty and not forgiven
Mummy and Daddy hate me
Daddy and Mummy don’t love me anymore

Hugging increases the bonding hormone oxytocin, allowing the child to bond back together with the parent again after receiving the punishment. Hugs also help to reduce the stress that they encounter while receiving the punishment. All the crying and begging not to be punished release lots of stress hormones that require the release of hormones like oxytocin to counter the negative effects.

When we hug our child affectionately after a punishment, the child will feel a sense of acceptance by the parent again and not be left to self-doubt and self-blame. This sense of acceptance is very important in affecting their overall growth and development.

A child who feels accepted and loved develops better learning ability as compared to a child who feels unaccepted and unloved. This is because the child is able to boost his self-esteem and confidence from feeling good about himself as well as his environment regardless of the mistakes that he may make. This thus helps the child develop the confidence to tackle the world’s challenges and not be afraid to make mistakes.

Don’t be afraid to mete out punishments, just remember to wrap it up with a warm and affectionate hug to encourage a positive environment for optimal growth and development.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to make my child smarter?

January 11, 2017By Clarice Lim

Don’t most of us want to know that? The answer is, fortunately, easier than we thought. Apart from good genes, we can make our children smarter by using the appropriate praises.

Research has shown that those who believed that ability is fixed, doesn’t feel that they need to put in effort to score in a test, they believe they will get good scores just because they are born smart. Even when they have gotten answers wrong, they won’t bother to find out what went wrong or how to fix it because that will show their disability in being smart.

Whereas those who believed that ability can be improved, will always want to know what the right answer is and how to get the right answer, so that they can become better. Therefore, they will always put in the effort to learn more and remember more. That’s not all, students who believe they can become smarter, are also more persistent in times of failure because, if you believe you can become better, you will naturally not be beaten by a one-off failure and look forward to correcting your failure.

What we can do as parents to instil the correct mindset towards ability/intelligence, will be to always emphasize on the effort, so your child will develop the mindset that it is effort that did the magic, or that it’s the lack of effort, that made one fail.

Praises that you should use will be like “Good effort!”, “Good persistence!”, “Good patience!” etc.

Never, NEVER, say, “So clever!”, “Smart boy!” etc. without injecting elements of ‘effort’ into the praise. The moment your child feels that he is born with it or he is naturally good, he should not need to put in the effort to improve, and he might never want to try again at the first instance of failure because he might have somehow “lost” the ability to be good.

For example, say “Good use of colours! I like your effort in making the picture so colourful.” Instead of “What a beautiful picture! You can draw really well.”

The difference between the 2 types of praises is that one tells specifically what is good, so the next time the child wants to create another picture, he will put in the effort to use more colours. In a way, you are not just encouraging your child to work hard, you are telling your child what exactly he is doing that is right.

In conclusion, in order to ensure your child becomes smarter, be sure to use the right words when praising. Praise the effort, the determination, the decision-making, the choice of level of difficulty, the improvement, the attitude and so on. Your child will thus want to learn more, know more, become more persistent in the face of failure and therefore, become smarter.

Image courtesy of jk1991 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Motivate your child with this simple step

June 2, 2016By Clarice Lim

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If getting your child to start working on their homework feels as hard as pushing a car on handbrake, you are not alone.

Sometimes you just wish there is an “on-off” button that you can press so that you can just kick your slippers and slouch on the couch after a long day at work while your little one presses on till he/she is done with her task.

Unfortunately, there is no such button, but there is, one special formula which you can adopt.

Praise them. No, not the usual “Good job”, “Well done”, “Good boy” which you have been using consistently. But “Good effort”, “So diligent!”, “Good perseverance!”.

As reported in numerous studies, children whose parents praise their effort and diligence are actually more open to taking on challenges, are better at problem-solving and are more likely to believe they could improve themselves by working hard. Of course, they are also more motivated in completing their tasks.

In one of the studies, the research team videotaped 53 children and their parents during everyday interactions at home. Each family was videotaped three times, when children were 1, 2 and 3 years old. From the videotapes, the scholars identified instances in which parents praised their children and classified their praises accordingly.

Researchers then followed up with the children five years later, assessed whether they preferred challenging versus easy tasks, were able to generate strategies for overcoming setbacks, and if they believed that intelligence and personality are traits can be developed (rather than being fixed).

The results demonstrate that praises that emphasise children’s effort, actions and strategies actually predicted children’s attitudes toward challenges and their beliefs about trait malleability five years on.

So, quit the “Good girl”, start the “Good effort” immediately.

In fact, this is an easier method because children being children, they don’t always do things as you would have expected. So instead of reluctantly saying “Wow nice drawing!” yet feeling like you have completely betrayed your judgement, focus on the effort and say instead, “Wow, you must have taken a long time for this! Such persistence! Well done! For your next work, you can try to use more colours instead of just black, I’m sure that can make it even better.”

Yes, it’s long, it’s in fact, very detailed. This kind of specific constructive feedback tells your child what exactly needs to be improved on so they know what to look out for the next time they try it. And of course, if they know how to improve on it, they will look forward to working on it as soon as possible.

Try it! Focus on the effort, and give specific constructive feedback on how to make the next one better.

Does listening to Mozart really make my child smarter?

June 1, 2016By Clarice Lim

Wolfgang-amadeus-mozart_1

Unfortunately, the answer is no…

The original study, where the whole “Mozart Effect” came about, wasn’t even conducted on children. In the study, 36 adult students were given a series of mental tasks to complete on three occasions. Before each task, they listened either to ten minutes of silence, ten minutes of relaxation instructions, or ten minutes of Mozart’s sonata for two pianos in D major. Obviously, the study found that students who listened to Mozart did better at tasks where they had to create shapes in their minds. They also were better at spatial tasks where they had to look at folded up pieces of paper with cuts in them and to predict how they would appear when unfolded. However, the Mozart Effect lasted merely 15min in the test. After that, no differentiated results were derived.

Many studies followed thereafter trying to find the winning formula to enhance intelligence. However, time and again, studies were done on adults, not children. Also, some studies had proven that the effect was also found on music which the subjects enjoyed (yes, including rock music), that it wasn’t unique to Mozart’s music afterall.

In fact, it doesn’t have to be music. Anything that makes you more alert should work just as well – painting or stacking blocks, for instance.

In a nutshell,

The effect of being ‘smarter’ is only temporary, at most 15min after listening to it.
Tests used to prove this musical effect was in fact, only shapes prediction, like those IQ questions that ask you which net makes up the 3d box etc, not on general intelligence.
You can get the same effect from doing anything you like! Like listening to your favorite pop song or exercising!

Children’s behaviour